Just Call the System: My First Substitute Experience

Oh my wow. It is so hard to believe that it’s been nearly a month since the first day of school!! Today was the 18^th time I walked to my very own classroom and flipped on the lights, wrote my learning target on my very own whiteboard, and greeted bus students during my morning duty. It was the 18^th time I took morning attendance, walked my students to the cafeteria, and sipped gulped my coffee during morning announcements. 

It’s also the 18^th time I’ve walked out of the building feeling like a complete and total failure. Seriously. At least twice a day I remind myself to smile just a little bigger in order to compensate for the fact that I have absolutely no.idea.what.I’m.doing. True story.

It's okay though because day by day I’m starting to feel more settled and confident in my surroundings. My most recent victory was figuring out how to schedule my own substitute. Now, I know this sounds like chump change to you "seasoned" teachers, but no so for us newbies. 

My county requires that new teachers attend 8 days of training their first year teaching, the first of which was scheduled for today. I was told about the training about two weeks ago, so I had plenty of time to schedule a substitute and figured it couldn’t be that hard, but needed a bit of guidance. So I started asking around. It went something like this: 

Day 1.

Me: Hey, how should I go about scheduling my substitute for TIP training…?
Teacher A: Just call the system. 
Me: Oh….um...ok. [Not wanting to look completely ridiculous, I pretended that I knew precisely what she was talking about and figured I’d save my question for the secretary who might be able to answer it in more detail…]

Day 2.

Me: Hey, I was just wondering what I need to do to ensure that I have a sub for next week.

Secretary: Oh you just need to call the system. 

Me: Oh. Well, how do I do that?
Secretary: You know, just call and enter you ID number and it should be simple from there. 
Me: Right. Ok. [Still completely in the dark about ‘the system’, I figured I’d spread my ignorance around … third time is the charm, right?!]

Day 3.

Me: I need help scheduling a substitute (I reasoned that if I worded it differently I might sound more pathetic and therefore more worthy of sub-scheduling assistance...)
Teacher B: No big deal, just call the system. 
Me: Ok, well not to sound completely stupid, but what exactly IS the system.
Teacher 2: The substitute system. You know. The system. Just call it. 

At that point I felt a bit like Buckwheat from The Little Rascals when he asks Spanky if he knows the number for 911.

I cried. Then I laughed. Then I cornered my principal until he gave me some inside scoop about the secret system. Then I felt like Nicolas Cage guarding the Declaration of Independence when he gave me a sticky note with the all important sub-system-number written on it. The angels sang. And then I scheduled my sub. 

Because my training didn't start until 8:30 this morning (and school starts at 7:30), I stopped by for homeroom. I met the substitute, and spent 20 minutes blabbering about the rules, lesson plans, and helpful students. I felt like a nervous mom using a 15 year old babysitter for the first time. I couldn't quite make myself leave my babies! Finally she cut me off and said "Honey, I've been teaching for 30 years...I think I can handle it. Bye." ...And she kicked me out. I'm glad she did or I might have stayed all day. I restrained myself from calling to check on them at lunch (no need to embarrass myself more I reasoned...), and made myself drive straight home after PD. 

Thankfully I have the same fabulous substitute for my second day of development tomorrow, but I really can't wait to be back with my little people on Thursday. How do you feel when you have to leave your class with a substitute? Anything you do to ensure a smooth day for students and sub alike? I want to know!

Hope you all had a fun filled Labor Day weekend and a spectacular Tuesday. 

Emily

Wait...what?

Hello Blogosphere! I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve had a chance to post. Okay, that’s not entirely true...I’ve had plenty of chances...I just always choose to sleep instead. Can I just say that teaching is tiring! Whew. I am not ashamed to say that I found myself in bed at 7:45 PM on a Friday night and even 14 hours later I barely felt capable of functioning in civilized society.

Tiring as it is, I am so in love with this job!!! Every morning I make the two story trek to my classroom I feel like pinching myself “Is this real life?! I’m a teacher. Wait...what?” It’s so weird knowing that I am completely in charge of 122 students for 50 minutes a day. Weird and terrifying. I feel a bit like an amateur pool player as I greet them at the door at 7:30 every day: I’m smiling as I chalk my pool stick, but I really have no idea what I’m doing. It’s true. That being said, I’m so thankful to be teaching right next door to my supervisor from student teaching. Although my constant barrage of question is no doubt inconvenient and probably just plain irritating, she’s always ready to point me in the right direction (mental note to buy her an extra great Christmas present…). Also, I just found out last Wednesday that I have been assigned a mentor teacher who will meet with me once a week to plan, grade, or even teach if I need it. Hello, lifesaver. 

I’m just getting to know my students but they are SO precious. Their smiles and their eagerness is such a blessing. I can’t imagine a better reason to feel exhausted and I can’t think of a more fulfilling job than teaching middle schoolers. I think I’m settled in now so I hope to be back to blogging regularly in the coming weeks. For now, check out my classroom... I've had entirely too much fun decorating it so far :)

Paint sample bulletin board -- thanks Pinterest!

             

             



             

Finally got my SmartBoard working -- had to give it a little pizazz.
Steeler Nation....you know  ;-)

First Day!

Found this cute note on my way out the door on Friday.
I cried, duh. Still feeling incredibly humbled. 

Get on the Bus

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -- Proverbs 3:5-6 (italics mine)

I memorized this verse when I was a seven year old, snaggle tooth, VBS kid ... and to this day it is still one of my favorites. I love it because it promises guidance in return for trust. Sometimes the trust is simple, and other times it isn't, but trust is always something that is within my power to either give or withhold. Recently I faced a not so simple time of trusting in the Lord...waiting (rather impatiently, I confess) for him to open a door of oportunity for me to begin teaching. Although I have always considered myself to be someone who trusts in the Lord, being faced with a situation in which it is vital has forced me to re-evaluate the authenticity of my trust. God has been so patient with me in my doubt this Summer, continuing to speak words of peace and patience to my heart through all sorts of different people, and I can look back now and say that I am thankful for the opportunity to have grown in trust and increased in faith.

My relentless prayer from the time I began student teaching has been that God would open a door for me to begin my career without having to spend a year substituting, which admittedly, has been a source of great anxiety. Sporadically I prayed to be hired by a particular school in a particular school district, but ultimately my prayer has just been for a chance to work with students again, because it truly is my passion. I want nothing more than to spend my days knee deep in middle school messes: in paper grading, and courtyard time...in cafeteria duty, and talent shows...in loud chatter, and running in the hallways...in stolen, quiet morning moments at my desk, and precious notes from students...in punctuation rules, and sentence structure, and after school homework help. In ministering. This is my heart's desire.

I thought I had my version of trust down pat. It involved a lot of anxiety and much crying. In reality it looked a lot more like distrust disguised as the real thing. Although I tried desperately, I never truly let my heart rest in believing that God would direct my paths...until about two weeks ago while I was traveling in Europe. It went something like this:

I was standing in the blazing 102 degree sun (yes, it was really that hot) waiting for a tour bus to drive my family and I from Sorrento, Italy to the Amalfi Coast. I was terrified for two reasons -- In case you're not terribly familiar with the Amalfi Coastline, it is essentially hundreds upon thousands of buildings built into the side of a cliff overlooking the ocean. Although gorgeous, the roads are extremely narrow, the turns are hair-pin, and there is only one very tiny guardrail separating the bus from the edge of said cliff. The bus was built for fifty passengers, but I assure you there were more than fifty people in line for the trip... this made me nervous. Second, I suffer from motion sickness when riding in vehicles that I am not operating. I knew that I couldn't handle an hour and a half of claustrophobia combined with teetering on the edge of doom. So, I sat on the curb crying as I waited with the other passengers to leave. It was so embarassing and yet I couldn't stop myself because I felt such terror at the idea of getting on the bus (which in my mind, was certainly destined to plummet into the ocean before it rounded the first corner...) Worse yet was knowing that there was no other way to get to the coast. Either you went via death bus, or you didn't go at all. I felt trapped and panicked ...and so I cried harder.

Sitting there in sheer terror, I did the only thing I knew to do -- I prayed for the peace that passes understanding to calm my fears and relieve my anxiety. As I did, I very clearly heard the spirit of God whisper: "There is a lesson in this....get on the bus. Trust Me." And so, weighed down with the knowledge that there was no other way, I got on the bus. In my mind I literally handed my life to the driver as I stepped aboard -- I felt absolutely powerless -- I had zero control of the outcome. I cried the whole way, still terrified, white-knuckling the armrest beside me, eyes tightly closed while my sweet mom held my hand and prayed peace over me the whole way. It will live in infamy as the most awful trip I've ever taken. But, after what felt like an eternity, I stepped out of the bus to witness one of the most impressive views I have ever seen:

As I looked out over the railing to the coastline I heard another whisper: "See? It's the same with your life... I have good plans, and a good view at the end of this thing. But you cannot be in control. Trust Me. Relinquish your doubt and surrender your whole heart. There is no other way."

For the rest of my life I will remember the peace that washed over me in that moment. Then and there, overlooking the inlaid coastline, I fully surrendered any plan I had for my life. Anything Emily wanted was out the window (or, over the railing in this case...) and I promised God that when he called I would answer, giving up what I wanted for what he wanted, trading my plans for his ... even if his plans meant not teaching at the school where I thought I so desperately wanted to teach...even if it meant working as a substitute for a year...or longer....even if it meant working at McDonald's. Afterall, we can be salt and light anywhere, right? So, I let go. I cannot explain the peace the comes with relinquishing control, I can only say that you should try it.

To make a long story short, later that day I received a call from the principal of the school where I completed my student teaching -- he wanted to hire me. How cool is God? Working all things together for my good, even a 7,000 mile disposition. Without talking to me face to face, and without a formal interview (which, let's be honest, we all know I probably would have bombed anyway...) and from a country away, he hired me. Just like that. And, I should mention that this is the school that I sporadically prayed to be hired at, but eventually gave up on when my faith got weak and my doubts grew, resorting instead to simply begging God for any position in any school. But, God's plans aren't an afterthought -- he didn't just give me any position at any school...he gave me the position I prayed for -- the position that still elicits strange looks from my new colleagues: "How in the world did you manage to get a job straight out of college?" they ask. I just smile. Seriously, how cool is God?

I'm not saying that I would'nt have been offered the position if the scenario had played out differently. What I am saying is that God rewards a heart that is fully surrendered to him. Before the bus, I hadn't truly surrendered. I was still clutching what I wanted with one hand while I raised the other in "surrender"...pawning it off as trust. But, it doesn't work that way. When we let go of trying to figure out our own footing...that is when He makes the path straight. Again, I am so thankful that God doesn't give up on me in my doubt...in my anxiety, when I sit down on the proverbial curb and throw a tantrum because I want to be in control. His love for me is relentless. And for you. And, his plans are kind of amazing. If you can, dig down deep in your heart and really trust him. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just saying that it's so worth it.

So, there you have it. I am now officially a 7th grade Language Arts teacher. I am so excited I haven't had a good night of sleep since I accepted the offer, my mind too busy with a million little details, and the thought of meeting my sweet 7th grade babies in less than 24 hours from now! Thanks to all of my readers for the sweet comments and messages of encouragement. Your next order of business will be to help me vote on a new blog name because I'm not "almost" anymore :-)

Happy Tuesday, friends.

Emily


Update:
As a side note, I'd like to say that when I began writing this blog I didn't know about the bus crash that killed almost 40 tourists close to Naples when I was in Italy. When I read the story my heart sank because I can imagine how awful it was and I couldn't get over how close the accident was in proximity to me! (I stayed less than an hour from Naples during my first few days in Italy.) My heart breaks for the families affected by this tragedy. They need our prayers.


P.S.: I am so sorry for not having the chance to share some photos of Italy with the blogosphere -- if you want to see some of my adventure, follow me on Instagram @NCBrowneyyes

Guest Blog: Tales of Teaching Heels

Hi everyone! I’m so excited to be a guest blogger here today! Thank you Emily so much for asking me to write. My name is Stephanie and I blog over at Tales of Teaching in Heels. I am a high school English teacher, though have taught 7-12, and just completed my 5^th year of teaching. I teach in a public charter school in North San Diego County and LOVE it.  If you like this post, head on over to my site and check out all the other cool ideas I have…all my products are FREE!

You’re on a Roll: Keep up the Good Work

I’ve got a great little goodie for you guys today. I have found that a little encouragement, even in a high school classroom, can go a long way. I used to write little notes to students and pass them out when they were doing a great job, or overcame an obstacle. But then it got to be so time consuming that I stopped doing it all together. But I now have the perfect solution: pre-made acknowledgements. 

I saw an idea similar to this on Pinterest, I mean we all get our teaching ideas from there don’t we?? I knew I could make my own version, so I did!  I’ll show the product and then give you the steps. I also have a FREE printable of this sheet, with a blank space to handwrite your name to personalize it :)

Steps for making this great treat!

1. Down load this FREE printable of the tags and write your name in the blank space. Then make copies [Do the name first so you don’t have to write your name 50 times]

2. Take a 2” circular hole punch, I got mine at JoAnn’s Fabric, or use a 40% off coupon at Michaels, and your teacher discount of 15% , and cut out the tags.

3. Take a hole punch and punch a little hole in the corner, careful not to get too close or the ribbon will rip through the hole.

4. Use 3 Tootsie Rolls, I opted for the colored ones because Dollar Tree had the packets, but the red tag will go nicely with the regular Tootsie Rolls too.

5. Tie a ribbon around the Tootsie Rolls [works well if you make a pyramid of two on the bottom and one on top], then tie on the tag. 

6. Viola! You’re done 

I hope you enjoy this little FREEBIE and find it helpful in your classroom…or maybe as a parent to sneak into their lunch one day as a little encouragement.  Thanks again Emily for asking me to write today, and we can’t wait until you’re back and bloggin!!!

Stephanie

Insta-Friday -- Brittany W. Guest Blogs

Hey y'all! It's Brittany here from Lovely Literacy and More. 

I hope all of you are having a fabulous summer, especially for those who are heading back to school too soon very soon. As you might already know Emily is away (lucky girl!) and she asked me to guest blog for her Insta-Friday. Isn't that sweet? This is my first guest blog. Can you believe it?! I was pretty pumped about it and Insta-Friday is perfect for me because I take pics on a daily basis. Okay... maybe a little too much sometimes.

My Friday started out at the grocery store picking up food & these pretty flowers for our family BBQ we are having at our house Sunday.

If you follow my blog then you may have read that getting a fence up was on my summer to-do list. The fence got put up a few days ago and it is Emma's new favorite place to play. Friday she was putting her ball on the stairs and knocking it down so she could chase after it. It was a funny sight.

 Speaking of a funny sight... While Emma loves playing outside Boozer apparently does not so much. He prefers to lay in bed. And no I did not buy our big dog that small bed. Notice the big bed in the back there... That's his bed. For some reason he likes Emma's little bed.

 Being productive on a Friday... Why yes I was!

All you need is a pencil holder, glue gun & a feather boa & waalaah--- you have yourself a fancy pencil holder for our "fancy journal" pencils. I tell my kinders that these "fancy" pencils can only be used during journal writing because they must use their best handwriting and these fancy pencils help their handwriting. :) They love em'!

 Journals & handwriting are a big deal in my class so I found these "writing wands" at the Dollar Tree. Three for only $1.25. I plan to add glitter on the border of the star. You may be thinking- how will I use this? After they write in their journal & illustrate their writing I will tap their journal with the Writing Wand which will signal that they did a great job & can put it away.

 While I was at it with the fancy pencil holder & writing wand, I also made a sight word game that the kids can play. I found the popcorn bucket & the sponges at the Dollar Tree for $1.25 each. When the students read the sight word on each sponge (we'll pretend its popcorn) they get to put it in their popcorn bucket. If two are playing than who ever fills their bucket first wins.

Happy Friday peeps!!!

You can stop by my blog to pick up some freebies & enter giveaways as I'll be giving away more of my units & products for back to school.

Insta-Friday

Ok, right, I know it's Saturday...but, just go with it, okay? This was Friday:

The day's playlist :-)

Doesn't everyone pack like this?

Fresh Mani! I Seriously have an addiction to Essie nail polish.
This is "Lacquered Up" -- my all time fav.

Laziest Chihuahua ever. Wouldn't even help me pack.

Grapefruit sky.

Frozen hot chocolate -- you know, because I worked so hard on packing ;-)

Finally finished. It only weighs 50+ lbs...Sorry not sorry.

I had a lovely Saturday with my grandparents in Charlotte, enjoyed one last American meal (unless you count continental breakfast...and I don't), and now I'm hanging out at the Wyndam Resort (which is less resort and more sketch-establishment...) before I proceed to the airport in the morning! Send me some good vibes, because even though my mom was a flight attendant for years and I have flown more than 100 times, I'm still utterly terrified of airplanes. But, I'll manage because this airplane is taking me to Italy!!

Can't wait to blog about my Italian adventures (and also hopefully blog about my new job?!) when I get back. Until then, I guess that does it for this installation of Insta-Friday!

Happy Weekend!

Emily

Interview 2.0: His Plans Are Good

Good stuff first: Congratulations to Melissa over at Elementary Endeavors for winning my Bloglovin' giveaway!  Thanks to all my lovely readers, I'm at now at 65 followers! I will be planning another (bigger and better) giveaway as soon as I hit 100 followers, so keep an eye out for that!

Well, I had my second-ever interview yesterday. Thankfully it was a much better experience -- I was even able to articulate coherent thoughts and used real words this time! I'd say that on a scale of 1-10 I earned a solid 8 (solid, folks). In my own biased opinion, compared to last weeks train wreck, it was interview gold. And I was wearing a cutesy outfit, so that helped, right?

Snagged this cuteness at the Tommy outlet last week -- it
says "hire me", right?

As soon as I walked in the building, the atmosphere was completely different than my previous interview. The principal and two other teachers welcomed me into the conference room and immediately started talking and laughing with me like we were friends. I really can't get over how nice they were and how warm they treated me. The principal really worked to make me feel comfortable, spending the first ten minutes cracking jokes and telling stories. He knew I was nervous and he made a point to let me know that it was okay -- I am so thankful for this gesture, because it really did help me to relax and think about what I wanted to say. Before I even started answering their questions I knew that I wanted to work at this school, with this principal, and these teachers.  And, as I got up to leave, I felt confident.

And then my hopes were crumpled like a note confiscated by an angry teacher during a test. As I was leaving, the principal told me that he had seven other candidates to interview after me (Seven -- seriously?!) He didn't indicate when I could expect to hear anything from him, but he did say that I would only be contacted if he intended to offer me the job -- that if I didn't hear from him to know that he truly felt I would make an exemplary educator. I won't lie, I was a little bit a lot discouraged as I walked around the block to my car. I knew that I did my best, but I couldn't help but wonder if my best was going to be better than seven other peoples' "best".

Even so, I am feeling peace. Honestly. As I was preparing for my interview in Frankfort last week I prayed a specific prayer: that if it was God's will he would open the door wide; if not, that he would close the door and lock it. I now know that working at that particular school wasn't God's plan for my life ... but I do know that has a plan. I know that his plans for me are good -- they are plans to prosper me and to give me an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11 -- one of my favorites -- and the verse I have hanging above my bed). 

Such a great reminder to see each night and every morning

This morning as I was driving to the interview in Charleston I was reminded that he opens doors that no man can shut, and he closes doors that no man can open (Isaiah 22). My constant worrying and striving does not change his sovereignty. Nothing I do or fail to do will strip him of his supreme authority in my life. He knows best. I do not. 

I'm a worrier. I'm detail oriented. I'm a planner and an organizer. To say that the uncertainty of what I'm going to be doing this coming school year doesn't put me on edge would be a lie. But, I know that God is in control, and day by day I am learning to REST in that realization -- that he is making all things work together for my good. It's hard, but it's enough for me that God has a plan -- who am I to tell him how to execute it? 

So, for now I will wait. Patiently, with expectation and hope, knowing that he is intricately orchestrating every aspect of my life. 

And while I wait I will eat this delicious watermelon. 

I hope that this encourages you, wherever you are. God has an exceptional plan for each of our lives, and it is far superior to our own. We just have to acknowledging such. 

Emily